Resurfacing

I had an extremely bad morning, obviously per my previous post. I was so psychotic that I ended up making my husband come home from work to help me calm down. For the first time since my fatigue problems really started last August I was honestly grateful to feel "too tired". It was bad, but it would have been much worse if I'd had any energy. I feel subdued and tired now, and also weak... like my body's just gone through a traumatic experience. And it makes me scared. For all my planning on how to take care of problems like these... I felt completely stuck. I couldn't get out from beneath the crazy, depressed feelings. Sometimes I truly feel like my husband is my anchor. It took about 2 hours, but he stayed by my side and helped me resurface from the screaming in my mind and the emotional pain. Now I'm sitting in bed taking it easy and listening to a carefully selected playlist of calm, uplifting music.

For the first time ever I recognize that my fatigue might have been an immense blessing in disguise this whole time.