No, really.

Yesterday was a pretty good day.
Today was...okay to decent.

Funny how a simple text from my husband (who has been at a coworker's house for 5+ hours playing Star Craft) saying he honestly doesn't know when he'll be home can ruin it all...

Oh, I just have an almost 3 month old baby.
Oh, and she still doesn't sleep through the night.
Oh, I still don't have any friends here.
Nope, no car to visit my sister.
I'm too boring for him to pick hanging out at home with me over hanging out with his friends. And I know it's the truth. I'm utterly boring and isolated. People have been nicer to me here than anywhere I've ever lived, but I still feel standoffish and awkward around everyone.

We used to be best friends, but clearly I'm just the mother of his children now.

Well, guess what, world? This is just about the time my loneliness "breaks". If I seem detached in the upcoming days/weeks/(months?) it will assuredly be because I'm finding solace in fantasy land.

Me. In bed all day. Listening to music with headphones. Escaping into a trance. Daydreaming so fervently that eventually it feels like the reality, and everything else feels like a haze.

I know I can't sink that deeply -- because of the kids, but still... I need to escape this world of embittered solitude somehow............