A breath of fresh air

Yesterday, shortly after typing my crazy-depressed post on here I typed a plea for help on my primary blog. At the end I typed, "Please help me before I don't want help anymore." A couple of minutes later I literally felt like someone, somewhere in the world, had said a prayer for me. I distinctly felt like someone was praying for me. It's the weirdest thing... But the feelings of despair and inundating hopelessness dissipated within seconds. The music I was listening to no longer sounded the same. The air I breathed no longer failed to satisfy. My head was clear. It was... amazing, and it went on with that clarity until my husband got home from work.

This morning all those feelings of depression, the worthlessness, the disinterest in everything, the loneliness... it's gone. I woke up this morning completely clear, and it's fantastic. I survived a minor depressive episode fully intact, and I'm so grateful.

Now... bear in mind that a minor depressive episode is not nearly as bad as a major depressive episode. Those last for months. The depression just grows and grows, and all the bad feelings linger and fester and expand until I want to die. And that wanting to die lasts for a couple of weeks at least. Now you have a hint of understanding why I started this blog in the first place. I'm terrified of having another major depressive episode. I don't want it to conquer me. And I don't want anyone else to have to suffer alone if they have clinical depression. They're not alone, and neither am I.