Just kidding. All things considered, I'm just grateful to be alive today.
My husband woke up with a debilitating headache, which prevented him from baking the muffins he'd talked about last night. The girls were whining and being annoying for a good 6 hours. I'm so nauseous from my lithium I can hardly eat. But I feel loved, and I feel calm and happy, which is all I really wanted for this day. Granted, I had help with my stress, in the form of clonazepam. I barely ever take that stuff, but I needed it today. So now I'm tired and happy and sitting on the couch while the girls jump around and chase each other in circles.
I'm starting to feel a little more like... me though. It's a good feeling. I never wanted to be remembered as that depressed girl, or even as that crazy, manic girl my highschool friends had a blast with back in the day. I only ever wanted to be me, and I'm hoping that these normal feelings will continue and flourish with time.
So Happy Birthday to me. It's mostly been like any other day, except I'm able to see my life from a clear, calm perspective for once.
It's the best gift I could have asked for.
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