Lithium reminds me of a pressing hand. Imagine said hand pressing down on a curved line, and imagine that curved line represents my emotions. Sometimes the hand presses gently, and I find that I can breathe easily and freely between that hand's fingers. It's such a fantastic feeling. So... alive and at peace. Giddiness becomes a peaceable, chipper feeling. Sadness simply becomes wistfulness.
But sometimes the hand has to press harder, and my emotions, like a malleable putty, attempt to ooze between the hand's defenses, trying to break loose. But the hand is still pushing, pushing, and pressing down on me.
Suddenly it feels like I'm covered in plastic wrap. The carefree feeling, the ability to breathe freely dwindles. It's like an almost tangible film over me, keeping me from plunging into a depressed spiral or manic frenzy, but also keeping me from feeling fully alive. I'm just here, trapped beneath the surface, until my emotions can even out a bit, and I can finally breathe again.
It's just........ tough...
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